[sometimes its hard]

I’ve not updated anything for an age, i really should get my finger out and write something… i’ve just lost the will to write at the moment.

I’ve been off sick from work for the past fortnight, and i think its killed off half my brain. I can’t bring myself to even think about work at all now without feeling rather i’ll and part of me is starting to think its all in my head and that should probably get over it. I’m not due back until Monday now, so hopfully i’ll have my head screwed on by then.

I wonder why, the longer you leave something – does it become harder to do? I mean it should be easier, shouldn’t it? But calling an old friend or relative after months apart is one of the hardest things i can think of doing, but why is that?

I wonder if we’re afraid of rejection? Or maybe that we won’t have anything to talk about or anything in common anymore… sometimes its just easier to cut all ties isn’t it? And lets not for get that sometimes its for the best. We should give ourselves a break from time to time, i spend far too much time beating myself up over trivialities like this, when there are much bigger things to worry about.